Sean John Unforgivable For Hot Weather?

MAY II - Chapter 51 -

walked along the sidewalk, sleet lightly touched his face. I remembered the last time I saw her, his eyes distraught, in tears, and ran away from the office of Edward.

I had no idea what was pushing me from her, but one thing was certain: this woman era solo una vittima, ingiustamente punita per un qualcosa di cui non era stata responsabile. Ero stata io ad andare oltre, a chiedere più del dovuto, e seppur a fatica, l’avevo convinta a darmi qualche dettaglio che mi aiutasse a comprendere quel lato oscuro di Edward che si ostinava   a celarmi in ogni modo.

Sapevo con quanta dedizione parlasse di lui, e l’affetto, la gratitudine che lei provava nei suoi confronti sembravano immensi, tanto da rivelarsi palesemente in un amore forse mai ricambiato.

Lo avevo letto in quei suoi occhi scuri eppure così sinceri, ogni qualvolta mi had spoken of his past, how he had helped Edward allowing water to drain from the misery forever when it was plunged its existence.

Although I had not contacted on that day, I felt an anguish deep inside me, for her, so that unfair treatment, dictated by the desire to protect our love from what he believed to wrong to be a threat.

It was not ever. As it would become.

I was in front of Grumpy when I saw her arrive, all dressed up in a white coat, a smile on his lips.

He went hugging, shaking her with affection:

- That's good to see Isabella. . . - A kiss on the cheek.

That perfect face, red lips, glossy blacks eyes clouded with tears

- it is for me -

entered, sit down on a bench, the time to order two cups of coffee, take off our coats. . .

- Sorry to be gone that way, but I was beside myself. . . -

sighed, putting my hand on her:

- It 's my fault Estela. . . -

shook his head

- You do not have any guilt Isabella. . . you're just in love with your husband -

- I. . . I do not know what happened in that room, but whatever you have said, was dictated solely and exclusively on his own will to protect himself from his past -

- Do not worry ... I know Edward, I expected such a reaction on his part. But if it makes you feel better, know that I have already forgotten - smiled imperceptibly.

took a sip of coffee, his eyes downcast:

- Why go on? Do not tell me you've already concluded with the operation of merger of the company. . . -

shook his head

- No. But it was a difficult period for me. I lived terrible days, full of anguish. . . I need to pull the plug, he returned to Brazil. . . see my children. . - Froze instantly, without concluding the speech.

I saw his eyes flashed lightning on me, to see any reaction.

I opened my eyes, confused

- You have a son? -

His eyes frightened blacks, began to shake his head nervously, as if to go back on that word out spontaneously from his lips. . .

A deafening silence, endless moments, his hands moving nervously on the cup, the excitement was palpable.

- Estela? - tried his eyes, which continued to remain low.

nodded. Sigh.

- My God! Why did not you ever talk? - I asked in amazement.

A lot of disparate sensations crowded in my heart, and taken to a strange restlessness gripped the soul.

- It 's a complex situation Isabella. . . I do not want to talk about -

It was closed like a clam.

watched her closely, was ill at ease, his hands trembling.

- I'm sorry. I did not want to embarrass you -

shook his head

- Quiet. Isabella However, if I call you to tell you that my friendship for you has always been sincere. I could never deceive you, admire you as a woman, and I can only be honored to have made your acquaintance. I am so happy that you have met Edward on his way, you've made a new man, and I am convinced that with time you will be able to solve your problems. He loves you so unique, unconditional, pure, has demonstrated several times, even tried to stay away, returned to you more in love than ever. Choosing to have you next lifetime -

I looked shocked, because I was talking that way? And how did he know of attempts to forget Edward, before deciding to become my husband?

- Estela ... what are you trying to tell me? -

He cleared his throat

- Treat your loved Isabella, why not live it intensely There is nothing more precious in life .. Be it in the present, not bore you, do not distress yourself for a past that is not yours -

I did not understand. I felt the blood freeze in my veins, pictures and memories. . . him. . . with that child. And a new awareness made her way inside me:

- I want the truth -

My eyes finally saw her, tormented, anguished.

He took his hand nervously through his hair, still shaking his head

- I. . . io non voglio ferirti Isabella -

- Perché dovresti?-

Sospirò profondamente, :

- Non è giusto. . . non lo meriti! Non avrei dovuto chiamarti, sono stata una stupida!   - fece per alzarsi. . . afferrai il suo braccio, tirandolo   con veemenza, costringendola a sedersi.

- Si tratta di Pedro vero? - la mia voce dura, secca.

Quello che mi ero illusa fosse solo il frutto   della mia fantasia malata, quel sospetto  che aveva fin dal primo istante attanagliato la mia anima e che  avevo sempre ricacciato con tutte le mie forze,  si stava rivelando a me in tutta la sua reale crudeltà.
Chiuse gli occhi, per poi riaprirli, colmi di lacrime:

- Quando ho scoperto di aspettare un bambino da lui, ero colma di gioia, di felicità. Io l'ho amato Isabella, l'ho amato con tutta l'anima. E mai  avrei mai immaginato potesse reagire in quel modo così assurdo, rinnegando un essere innocente che non aveva alcuna colpa…-

Inspirai. . . boccheggiando,   mentre un’angoscia profonda si impossessò di tutto il mio essere.
- Mi disse che non era suo. E che se anche lo fosse stato, lui non desiderava avere figli. Nonostante ciò, decisi di portare avanti la gravidanza, tenendola nascosta. Finchè un giorno me lo ritrovai davanti alla porta di casa, intimandomi di  andare con lui, in una clinica, ad abortire. Riuscì a strapparmi una promessa,  temporeggiai fingendo di accettare la sua proposta, pur di allontanarlo da me:   ero già al quinto   mese Isabella, avrei ucciso il bambino e avrei rischiato la mia vita.   E poi sentivo quell’esserino muoversi dentro di me, facendomi sentire per la prima volta importante,viva. Portavo in grembo una nuova vita, e l’avrei messa al mondo ad ogni costo -

Lacrime di tristezza le inondarono il viso. . . mentre io ascoltavo come in trance, senza parole.

- Ero disperata, e feci quello che mi sembrò più logico: chiesi aiuto ad   Esme, I knew that I would leave. It took care of me in recent months, managed to hide everything to Edward. Convinced that, when that little would be born, he'd changed his mind - suddenly bursting into tears.

- What. . . What happened next? - With a whisper.

- went on a rampage, threatening to give it away to another family in foster care, making them lose track. Esme is able to reason with him, to convince him that it was not the best solution. Since then he has decided to take a share of his responsibilities, caring for him, giving him everything he needed. But he never accepted him as his son -

started. But I knew that was possible.
- It 's always been honest with me. I was the one sin of superficiality. In that job some things should not happen. And if they happen, so that you do not trace remains. He had been clear from the outset. He did not want links of any kind. I had chosen for both, the illusion that could change, that could love me, leading to exasperation -

- Why not live with you? Why is the island? -
- I was in extreme difficulty, I had just started with this work. So when I decided that I could not take care of him, they would have done ... and Juan and his wife Esme, when she could -

suddenly remembered his words when I showed up on the island the little Pedro:

It 's the gem of Esme ...

jumped in shock, disbelief.
- You are successful in that for which I have failed. I waited until the last moment that his heart could love spring, return what I had for him with all my soul. It never happened -

I thought of him, that child, to as held him in her arms, her infinite tenderness in his eyes serene, filled with a glare. So it was his son. It was the unfortunate result of that love, the woman who was tortured in front of me had felt for him.

cold shiver ran down my spine, my heart froze.

sighed, swallowing hard at the new truth, so absurd, yet so real, hard, ruthless.
- What else? - I was motionless, staring into space.
nodded. Then sighed, pushing the tears

- E 'come knocking on my door one evening. He was shocked out of himself. He did not say anything, I was there I was deluded for me ... and so e have. . . I have. . . - Shook his head, saddened - Oh my god Isabelle! I learned only later that you had been dying ... and that you were in a difficult phase of your relationship. But I could not know. And you can not imagine how disgusting it is for me the only think again!

Lies. More lies. More secrets, untold truths that add to that burden now untenable in his past.
closed my eyes, tighten along with strength. I did not want to pay more tears for him, that demon disguised as an angel who had managed to steal my soul, to extort the love by deception.

- I feel sick ... I need air. . . -

- Isabella? ... Wait! -

serves no purpose her call.

I got up, as if in a trance, going out into the street, wandering aimlessly through the sidewalks already filled with snow, falling slow, soft and fluffy white cotton balls, to settle anywhere, without any noise.

A deep disgust, revulsion difficult to drive back, I felt the urge to vomit gripped my stomach, my soul shattered, and the bleeding heart pierced by a thousand sharp blades.

How could he lie like that? How could swear eternal love, infinite, if his soul was full of falsehoods?

. . . The love I feel for you is pure and transparent Isabella. I could never muddy, I walk with a lie. . .

I slumped in a corner, looking up to heaven, while those icy flakes showered my face, screaming in despair, tears of anger, contempt, resignation.

As I could still love him? As I would be able to bear his look, his voice, his eyes very sweet, deep, intense, soft lips, I thought my forever, knowing that they belonged to a being artifact, impure?

I was there, under that snow coming down incessant stroking, as to want to purify, to console, and a bitter cold took possession of my soul by making cold, ice.

illusion. It was everything I had lived. While a deep hatred began to rage in every fiber of my body, pushing the poison that finally alchemist that ability I had instilled in his veins, blinding me with his skillful mastery.

Every gesture, every word, now takes on a different meaning: nothing would be the same again. It was over. Forever.


Special thanks to Danza19 for having suggested this beautiful melody.


http://chastitym.blogspot.com/p/spechless-thinking-about-may.html