Cherry Eye Operation Cost

MAY II - Chapter 53 -

still in the bed, staring at the ceiling. Once again, lost in immense pain, horrible, wet from tears of blood flowed unceasingly from my wounded heart.

a name. . . a name was enough to put an end to everything.

That love could have faced every obstacle, crossing the mountains, deeper than the abyss. . . could no longer fly. . . because of the lack of its wings, broken, torn and thrown into mud of lies.

I closed my eyes. My soul is lost in the maze of pain, torment and between anxiety and despair. . . . in a supplizio al quale ero destinata a soccombere.

Un nuovo giorno, la luce grigia attraverso le imposte di quella che per anni era stata la mia casa. . . e che adesso era diventato il mio unico rifugio.

Mi alzai, barcollante, una nausea insopportabile ad attanagliarmi lo stomaco.

Il cellulare, stranamente muto per tutta la notte, aveva ripreso a suonare. Controllai distrattamente il display, immaginando di trovare il suo nome:

- Yes? -

- Isabella. . . What happens? Edward is in pieces, out of his mind. . . - The shrill voice. . . unexpected.

sighed. A long pause before answering

- You know Pedro? - One simple question, come directly from my soul in anguish. I thought about it all night, coming to one conclusion: if all I had said Estela was true, as he himself had confirmed their non potevano non sapere.

Un silenzio assordante. . . sentivo il suo respiro agitato   soffiare attraverso il microfono:

- Si -

- Alice. . . io non voglio più sentire la tua voce -

- Isabella. . . Isabella. . ti prego. . . se Edward non te ne  ha parlato  ha avuto i suoi buoni motivi. . . ti prego ascolta ciò che ha da dirti  -

Chiusi la comunicazione. Mentre  una  nausea terribile sconvolse ancora una volta il mio essere. . . e violenti conati di vomito mi costrinsero a rifugiarmi in bagno.

  Guardai quel volto riflesso nello specchio. . . fissandolo a lungo. Aprii l' acqua del rubinetto, la udivo scorrere nel suo moto continuo,   incessante, as I felt a strange force take shape inside me, growing imperceptibly, making its way into my soul.

I had no idea how I managed, but I forgot, I would have banished forever from my mind, from my heart, every fiber of my body that still screamed his name.

Because nothing had been pure, nothing to really fight. Why the love no longer existed, had never existed, except in my mind. Illusion. . . and nothing else.

Usual gestures, like an automaton, in a few minutes I was in the street. I called a taxi.

look outside the city moving in its usual frenetic pace, like every morning, between the quick pace of people on the sidewalk, thinking about the absurdity of my existence: I had always believed in true love, I had waited all this time, to give myself to him, body and soul, without limit, without reservation, suffering the angherie di quel suo passato pesante, cosi difficile, cosi duro da sopportare. Avrei tollerato ogni cosa per lui. . . ma ero giunta al limite, stanca di comprendere, stanca di lottare. . . stanca di tutto.

Immersa in quella che ormai   era l’ unica risorsa in grado di gratificare il mio istinto di   sopravvivenza, trascorsi   il giorno in quell’ufficio, tra resoconti, appuntamenti, revisioni. . .

Bloccando i miei pensieri. Bloccando i battiti. Estirpando alla radice ogni moto che provenisse dalla mia anima.

Ero appena rientrata, quando sentii bussare alla porta.

La aprii, sperando con tutte le mie forze che non fosse lui.

- Mi spieghi cosa cazzo sta succedendo? -

Rose era di fronte a me, il volto cupo, triste.

- Non ho voglia di parlarne . ..- dissi seccata.

Sospirò, scuotendo la testa:

- Non so quanto sia grave stavolta e non mi interessa sapere nulla se non vuoi dirmelo. . . quello che voglio sapere è se vuoi farmi da testimone -

Era li, immobile, il tono duro, deciso.

Inspirai. ..trovando la forza necessaria per dare quella risposta.

- No Rose. .. I'll be there. I do not want to have anything more to do with that family -

He stared at me, mouth wide open, dilated pupils:

- I can not force you to do something against your will. But know that you will give me a huge pain in the day when I should be happier -

I looked down:

- I understand Rose. . . and you can not turn over the floor. . and do whatever you want. But I've decided. And nothing will make me go back -

How mummified, had no visible reaction. But to lower his eyes and nodded. Turned away. It disappeared behind the door of his apartment.

had not insisted. It was limited to stare, as if to understand and share my pain regardless of what generates it.

While anxiety gripped taken back to the soul.

I could not put anything under the teeth. I put on my pajamas, then go to bed, curled up between the sheets. While endless tears began to wet his face, a cradle all night. . . unabated.

Days passed.

Each terribly different yet similar to himself.

was checking the phone. . . only to clear their calls. . . and messages. . . without even reading them.

A call Esme. . . which did not answer.

***

a week had passed since that evening: totally immersed in work I could block that horrible feeling of anxiety that surrounded my being in the empty moments. What adds to the nausea and a terrible sense of oppression which upset me completely. I missed everything about him: his eyes green, deep, sweet, soft lips, inviting, the smell of his breath. . . his voice. . . his body. . its heat. . .

closed my eyes. . . blocking the images. For nothing of all that belonged to him was real, but only the result of a cleverly constructed deception to deceive my soul.

- Isabella ? -

Ero al coffee shop accanto alla Holding. . . vicino al bancone , intenta a bere un caffè amaro durante quella che avrebbe dovuto essere la mia pausa pranzo.

Mi voltai. . . e due occhi neri, in un viso dalla pelle ambrata si palesò davanti ai miei occhi.

- Raul. . . - infastidita. Era l’ultima persona che avrei wanted to see at that time.

went back to my cup to his lips. While a strange feeling stomach upset me.

- Where did you leave your bulldog today? - The ironic tone.

I turned once again, I saw that impudent smile, white, light his face.

Sbuffai with disdain:

- Sarcasm third-rate. . - I snapped.

- I humbly ask forgiveness. . . I had forgotten how likely the subject. I promise not to offend his sensibility. . . -

smiled. . . a bitter smile.

- What Raul wants from me? - The tone of dry, hard, avoiding the intrusive gaze. . embarrassing.

-Well. . . ... To begin to ask you to lunch - Had approached, I could feel his breath between my regular hair.

I scostai, moving abruptly. I stared at him stunned:

- What makes you think I want to have to do with her? - Outraged, and recover my bag. . . trying to regain composure.

- If the alternative is Cullen. .. I'm much better -

sighed, looking for a way out potermene finally return to work.

was in front of me, still, to stand in the passage.

- Stop it. And let me go! -

smiled taste, I watched those lips relax and discover the perfect teeth, his eyes amused. He wore a white shirt, a black pinstripe jacket, vest with coordinated pants clear. . . his body clean, muscular visible under clothing elegant.

Per poi scrutarmi   intensamente.

-Le faccio così paura? -

Sollevai lo sguardo, ritrovandomi quegli occhi neri dritti nei miei.  

- No. E adesso si tolga dai piedi - lo schivai, una mano sul braccio, bloccandomi.

- Isabella. . . la prego. . . accetti il mio invito - la sua voce improvvisamente dolce.

sighed. . . in the throes of a whirlwind of mixed feelings. He was not that I wanted, it was not him that I needed. But the man whose every fiber of my body yearned no longer existed, was no longer part of my existence. And although this every moment in my mind, a part of me was trying to drive out the thought in every way, even if at that time the half was called Raul. . . and was in front of me. . . to make me a ruthless court.

- There will be a lunch with her whole life. . . - Dry said.

I saw her face light up again.

- The Russian okay? -

nodded.

I saw it my way, and then position next to me, walking along the sidewalk. He had an elegant bearing, a way of doing extremely kind. Not a word along the way, I saw him smile and occasionally shaking his head.

- What she enjoys so much? - I asked curiously.

- I'm thinking how bizarre life -

- Why? -

continued to shake his head, amused

- Until a few moments ago I was alone in a bar, looking for something to eat. . . and now here I am, in the company of the most attractive woman I've ever seen, which appena accettato un il mio invito a pranzo -

- La smette di fare il cascamorto ? -

- Non ci riesco. . . non quando c’è   lei al mio fianco - sorrise ancora.

Eravamo giunti a destinazione, il ristorante distava pochi metri dalla Holding e dalla moltitudine di uffici che assediavano il centro di Manhattan.

Seduto di fronte a me, il sorriso sulle labbra:

- What do you prefer? -

- Oh. .. A 'salad ..-

He called the waiter when ordering. Before returning to stare, searching my every expression

- She is really a charming woman - the voice hoarse.

I looked down, embarrassed.

- If you do not stop going on -

- I apologize. But it's stronger than me -

A deathly silence, before they start talking:

- I'm really happy that she has agreed to have lunch with me. Although I'm wondering why Cullen still can pull a punch - amused.

- Do not run this danger. . . Or at least. . . - no more my voice died in gola.

Immobile, riempì d’aria i polmoni, mentre quegli occhi neri sembrarono illuminarsi di una luce nuova:

- Non mi dica che si è finalmente risvegliata dall’incantesimo ?-

Sospirai, abbassando gli occhi. Mentre un male atroce, insopportabile, prese ad attanagliarmi l’anima.

- E’ finita - mentre delle lacrime improvvise si accumularono tra le ciglia.

- does not deserve his suffering. Believe me - suddenly, staring with great tenderness.

His hand moved, leaning on mine, leaning on table. The recoiled immediately. Did not want that contact.

- May I ask why they hate him so much? -

sighed, shaking his head, a bitter smile on his face:

- He made my life hell -

I looked at him, and showed itself an expression of contempt on his face.

- I spoke with Estela. She said the child. . . And I learned many things of which I was unaware ... -

I saw him nodding, eyes closed as if to dispel an unpleasant thought:

- has suffered so much. . . -

- Despite everything I have deep gratitude for him. . . - I could not pronounce his name.

- It 's a woman in love. In his blood runs the poison that he injected the bastard with no mercy, giving in return only pain. Anyone who meets him in his path is destined to suffer. And she was no exception - referring to me.

started.

- Ma non può negare che l’ha aiutata. . . ha aiutato il bambino. . -

- Certo. . ovvio. . . bastano i suoi soldi a risolvere ogni cosa -

- Non intendevo dire questo. . -

- Non ha esitato un solo istante a ferirla, umiliarla,   approfittando di lei in ogni modo…. -

- Che vuol dire?-

Abbassò his eyes, shaking his head

- It 's always been a very sweet girl, happy, full of life. . . there was no instant or difficulties that we have passed together, even as children, when we played for the dusty streets of Rio. I always had the instinct to protect her from everything and everyone. . . for her I came to this city, making countless sacrifices to complete my studies and be able to create a position. . then bring it here, and offer them a better life. And when he suddenly found myself in front of me. . A woman completely different sensual, provocative. . . could hardly recognize it. I started to follow his movements, revealing a new reality, which I did not imagine existed. I managed to introduce me reprehensible in that world, looking for her, selling out my soul, my being. . . until I saw her one evening on a bed, intent on giving him pleasure in that way. . . - He paused, clenched fists, he spoke through clenched teeth, the disgusted expression on his face as prey to a relentless hatred.

I began to shake his head

- Lei. . She has been at boudoir? - boccheggiai incredulous.

nodded. . . closing his eyes:

- It 's been the darkest period of my existence Isabella. But if I did, if I went down in that abyss, I did it just for her, to save it. . . and when I managed to figure out where he kept hidden was too late. . . -

- My god. . . -

- He was only eighteen years old Isabella. . . eighteen. . . And he did not hesitate for even a moment to take advantage of her, take her with him at that his evil world, to make her his concubine -

- What. . . What happened next? - hung on his lips.

- I completely lost tracks. I had no idea where he had brought. I knew that this was a dangerous environment, in several respects. I myself have struggled to get out. . . was a sort of parallel universe that existed and that ended up being part of their everyday life. . . a drug, something which, when you find out and try it on your skin, you just can not do without. . . if not by appealing to the strength of will. . . and morality. E 'was because of those principles in cui ho creduto fin da bambino se  sono riuscito a gettarmi tutto alle spalle. E a ripartire da zero -

Capivo esattamente cosa intendesse.

- L’ho cercata ovunque. . . finchè non ho saputo che era incinta. . .ho lasciato tutto andando da lei, ero disposto a qualsiasi cosa pur di aiutarla, di renderla felice, nonostante non avessi i mezzi necessari. Ma lei era ossessionata da quell’essere spregevole. . . ne era innamorata perdutamente. Si illudeva di poterlo avere mettendo al mondo quel bambino. . . Ha subito ogni angheria. . . nonostante ciò ha perseverato nel suo atteggiamento, venerandolo come  un dio . E non immagina quanta rabbia io provi ancora adesso, al solo   pensiero che   possano esistere   persone come lui, alle quali basta la propria ricchezza per   risolvere ogni cosa, calpestando i sentimenti   di chiunque -   era addolorato, ferito.  

- Lei sa di aver sbagliato. . . -

- E’ ancora innamorata di lui. Gli è bastato metterla a capo di una società, farle donazioni su donazioni intestate a lei e al figlio per comprare il suo silenzio, la sua gratitudine. Tutto questo è lontano da me   Isabella, anni luce -   

Inspirai, nonostante i miei polmoni fossero allo stremo.

Lasciai la mia insalata intatta.

Con un senso di disgusto che mi accompagnò per tutta la giornata. Until I slipped back into that bed, with tears to mark every moment, immersed in excruciating pain that kept me company all night.



*** PS: For your hearts poisoned report a bit of sweetness here ... because it will not for quite a while.


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